February 2011
January 2011
Dear Self,
You’re such a complicated wreck.
Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.
Since then you’ve walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But we’ll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we’d be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go?
Remember. cause that’s all you can do.
We’ll never make another memory,
We’ll never make another memory.
I wish I’d have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn’t have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real.
You said they were.
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don’t share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I’m sorry that wasn’t enough.
So, we’ll go our own ways,
And hopefully you’ll remember the things I’ve told you,
Hopefully you’ll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I’ve learned from it.
But aren’t you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don’t consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn’t end this way,
Cause I’m still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we’d be a year from now?
How dare you blame fate for the pathetic decisions YOU made. We have this idea that there’s this compelling, uncontrollable phenomenon that we can call “destiny”, something that was MEANT to happen. Nothing is MEANT to happen without our consent. We control our own fates with everyday decisions that we make—big and small. You might wonder, “What about the things that we have absolutely NO control over, like natural disasters, deaths, mental or physical afflictions, and etc?” Every single one of those things listed have some sort of explanation, supported by the fact that everything happens for a reason. Whether you believe in a higher being or whether you’re comfortable with scientific interpretations behind every occurrence or even if you believe in a combination of both… something triggered something.
We are in control of our own fates, and as we build relationships with other people, our fates are so intricately intertwined together that we often lose sight of the fact that we cannot say things like, “It was fate that ‘X’ happened”. The word “fate” or “destiny” is merely the explanation, an outcome of the decision(X), YOU made.
Lovers: It wasn’t fate, alone, that you and your significant other are happily in love and all is rainbows and butterflies. Hopeless romantics: Don’t blame anyone but yourself that you have reluctantly accepted the conception it was ‘fate’ that you will ‘forever be alone’. There are an infinite amount of variations that your “fate” could HAVE turned out to be, knowing that you’ve made and will make an infinite amount of decisions. Remember that it’s never too late to decide what will happen an hour from now; it’s never too late to decide your fate 50 years from now. There is hope. You are in control of your own destiny; “it” does not control you.
-Serendipity
The only reason we hold back is because we think we have an endless amount of chances or that there will always be one more if we miss out this time. But as time disappears into the past and life goes on, those chances will run out, and you’ll either live with eternal happiness for being brave, or eternal regret for holding back.
